Zack Walkter

If you ask anyone who gambles regularly, you’ll get advice. If you ask someone else who gambles regularly, you’ll get a lot of different advice. There’s no magic secret to winning big, that’s why it’s called gambling, and casinos are pretty straightforward about the fact that they’re there to entertain you and separate you from your money. Still, there are some basic tips that can help a novice not completely lose their life savings the moment they step on the floor. Here are 25 Secrets Casinos Don’t Want You To Know. 1. Don't play Keno. The odds are absolutely terrible. Donate or save the money instead. Or try one of the giant huge cheap buffets. Just don't play Keno. Literally, no one has ever matched all 20 numbers on a 20 spot ticket. 2. Everyone gets free drinks, even those who pay the penny slots if you play for long enough. Just keep in mind that MOST of those are watered down well drinks, and the less you're spending, the more infrequent the drinks will be. 3. Play at fuller tables. More people per table, the slower the game goes, and the more time you have to think. This is particularly helpful if you've got the basics of the game and need a chance to practice strategy. 4. Slot machines and video poker machines with lower denominations have much lower payouts. So even if you win at the nickel slots, you're not going to be winning big. However, if you increase the amount you gamble on each bet, the payout will be bigger. The payout is based on the amount YOU bet, not how many bets total have been placed or how many times the machine has been used. 5. Don't sit down and spend a bunch of money at a game you have no idea how to play. Accept that in order to learn to play a new game, you're going to have to likely lose whatever money you put it. Stick to the basics, and stay away from the weird if you want to go home with something in your pocket other than regret. 6. Don't play against the locals. If the dealer knows everyone by name and starts asking about their kids, leave that table. These people make their living off tourists in casinos, and they will likely eat you for lunch. 7. Yes, card counting is legal. Casinos don't usually expect you to do this but can't stop you. It's also far more difficult than most people realize and takes quite awhile to learn. There are maybe 100 professional card counters in the world. Even if card counting IS legal, a Casino is perfectly within their rights to kick you out and ban you for it. The dealer is watching you, security is watching you, the pit boss might be watching you. If they don't throw you out, it's very likely they're going to change the rules to trip you up. 8. Sometimes people (particularly elderly gamblers) will mess themselves right at the slot machines instead of walking away from a "lucky" machine to use the restroom. Addiction is real, and it's always awful and pathetic. 9. Quit while you're ahead. Every Casino knows their odds and knows mathematically when, despite your winning streak, they're likely to take more of your money than you've taken of theirs. In the end, "The House Always Wins" isn't just a saying, it's a mathematical result. 10. Think of slot machines like arcades - you're paying to play and look at the fancy lights. Keep in mind that the fancier the machine, the more likely the game will be complicated, AND they generally offer less payouts. Avoid unless you just want to pay $20 to see flashy lights. 11. Don't get distracted by the sparkly cleavage and free drinks. Casinos have something called "Party Pits" that exemplify everyone's stereotypical idea of Vegas - strippers, gambling, and booze. But those tables with the bikini-clad dealers? Usually, have much smaller payouts that basically double the House's edge. 12. Blackjack also has decent odds of winning - the house edge is around 1% in most casinos - and is pretty easy to play. If you have no idea what you're doing, go to a less full table during the afternoon or a slower time, and the dealer will walk you through the game. You're just playing against the dealer, not other players, like in poker. 13. Listen to the dealer! If they tell you a table is no good...they aren't lying. They have nothing to lose by offering you this good, free, information. There's no conspiracy; they don't want to deal with grumpy players who lost (and tip poorly) because they didn't listen. 14. There aren't clocks or windows in MOST Casinos (although the windows rule has been broken a few times). If you're focused on your game, and you don't have anything you can easily glance at that gives you a reference of how long you've been there, you're far more likely to stay longer (and lose more money). 15. Sometimes the dealer feels bad for you. They know you're not going to make your money back by doubling down, and that you might be in over you're head, and honestly, it's sad. If you're even a little bit of a jerk, they absolutely notice. If you're quite a bit of a jerk, they notice, they remember, and they may inform co-workers...like security... 16. The average gambling addict is around $40,000 USD in debt before they seek help. The house always wins. When you gamble, look at it as you spending that money for the thrill of the chance, not a way to earn a living or make your dreams come true. There are far more sad endings than happy ones. 17. Cheating DOES happen, and it's usually not as elaborate as you'd think. Something as simple as switching out chips, for example. Sometimes, people even convince the dealer to go along with them, which means that casinos are often as wary of their employees as they are of their patrons. But don't cheat; you'll eventually get caught, AND it makes you a horrible person. 18. Dealers usually have to wear clothing issued by the casino, and it doesn't have pockets, so nothing can be hidden or stolen. Aprons must be worn slightly above the waist so that nothing can be tucked into a waistband, either. 19. People commit suicide at casinos more frequently than you'd think, and it's kept very hush hush. 20. A good table game for novice gamblers is baccarat as it requires zero skill, and many casinos have mini-baccarat tables with a $5 minimum. Not only that, the odds are pretty decent against the house. You literally just place a bet on the player or the banker, and then let the dealer do their thing. Tada! 21. Yes, there are options for, ahem, paid private adult entertainment. Prostitution isn't legal in Las Vegas, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Unless there's a problem or "transactions" are completed on camera (like in a parking garage), security usually just stays out of everyone's way. 22. Always wash your hands after handling chips. They're disgustingly dirty. Just...wash your hands. 23. ....and yes, if you're wondering, security can tell if you're cheating. Just like players have "tells," cheaters have "tells" and security is trained to watch for them. So don't try anything. 24. You're being watched. Always. Casinos have cameras everywhere and can (and do) track your movements the entire time, They can even see the hand you're holding. It's there for your safety, to watch for wicked people who may prey on the happy gamblers. 25. "The House always wins," but sometimes, in some games, the House is way more likely to win than in others. Games such as Three-Card Poker, Caribbean Stud, and Double Exposure Blackjack may have bigger payouts, but they also have much much bigger losses for the players. Credits: list25.com Share this story on Facebook with your friends.

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