8. Sometimes people (particularly elderly gamblers) will mess themselves right at the slot machines instead of walking away from a “lucky” machine to use the restroom. Addiction is real, and it’s always awful and pathetic.
9. Quit while you’re ahead. Every Casino knows their odds and knows mathematically when, despite your winning streak, they’re likely to take more of your money than you’ve taken of theirs. In the end, “The House Always Wins” isn’t just a saying, it’s a mathematical result.
10. Think of slot machines like arcades – you’re paying to play and look at the fancy lights. Keep in mind that the fancier the machine, the more likely the game will be complicated, AND they generally offer less payouts. Avoid unless you just want to pay $20 to see flashy lights.
11. Don’t get distracted by the sparkly cleavage and free drinks. Casinos have something called “Party Pits” that exemplify everyone’s stereotypical idea of Vegas – strippers, gambling, and booze. But those tables with the bikini-clad dealers? Usually, have much smaller payouts that basically double the House’s edge.
12. Blackjack also has decent odds of winning – the house edge is around 1% in most casinos – and is pretty easy to play. If you have no idea what you’re doing, go to a less full table during the afternoon or a slower time, and the dealer will walk you through the game. You’re just playing against the dealer, not other players, like in poker.
13. Listen to the dealer! If they tell you a table is no good…they aren’t lying. They have nothing to lose by offering you this good, free, information. There’s no conspiracy; they don’t want to deal with grumpy players who lost (and tip poorly) because they didn’t listen.
14. There aren’t clocks or windows in MOST Casinos (although the windows rule has been broken a few times). If you’re focused on your game, and you don’t have anything you can easily glance at that gives you a reference of how long you’ve been there, you’re far more likely to stay longer (and lose more money).
