8. 911, what’s your emergency?
911: what's your emergency?
2 month old: my mom just sat down.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) July 25, 2015
It seems like every time a new parent or grandparent sits down, their baby automatically cries for attention or otherwise. Basically clockwork.
9. It wasn’t me!
Best thing about having a newborn is being able to blame my farts on her, not just the dog.
— Matt Kassian (@kassassination) May 5, 2015
We all know that new dads and granddads easily blame their flatulence on the newborns. Let’s face it, newborns don’t smell like sunshine and rainbows all the time!
10. No sharing needed
The thing I appreciate most about newborn babies is that they never eat the donut I want.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) February 19, 2017
That’s always a plus. Not needing to share your grown-up food with anyone, not even your kid or grandkid… because they don’t have teeth!
11. To-do list
For those wondering what having a newborn baby is like, I just wrote "take a shower" on a list of things I'm hoping to accomplish today.
— stephanie mcmaster (@Smethanie) May 15, 2016
When you become a new parent, especially a new mom, taking a shower becomes a luxury when you barely have time for yourself at this point.
12. Not quite realistic
Lifestyle blogger: In preparation for my first born, today I'm sharing tips on how I plan to stay on top of all the newborn laundry!
Me: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) July 16, 2018
Just change “lifestyle blogger” to “new expecting parents” and “me” to “parents of the expecting parents”.
13. Time to catch up
Whenever I see a newborn baby, I realize they have absolutely no clue how many binge-worthy shows they now have to catch up on.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) September 14, 2018
It’s 2019, meaning we have streaming services like Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime Video. The newborn has to catch up with the rest of the family!
14. Multitasking
https://twitter.com/AudraEqualityMc/status/793496550366388225
Sometimes moms just have to multitask to get several things done at once! Who else has tried this technique?
15. Sibling input
5-year-old: The baby won't help clean up the house.
Me: She's a week old.
5-year-old: I know. She's been lazy long enough.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 19, 2015
Ahhh, siblings. Do they know they were once that size, too?
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