You searched for: self esteem

This story was originally written by Antonia Hoyle for DailyMail.co.uk Every night before she goes to bed, Samantha Micklethwaite sets two alarm clocks. When they sound at 4 am, she slides out from under the duvet — while her husband, Wayne, lies sleeping — to shut herself in the bathroom. Then she removes the make-up she’s been wearing overnight, only to painstakingly apply more. Extraordinary though it may sound — particularly as many would argue that Samantha has the kind of natural good looks that don’t need enhancing — the 31-year-old has never let her husband see her without makeup. Exhausting routine: Samantha Micklethwaite, 31, gets up at 4 am to reapply make-up despite her husband saying he'd prefer her without. ‘I worry he won’t find me as attractive with a bare face,’ admits Samantha, who married Wayne last May after three years together. ‘He has only ever known me with make-up on. It’s exhausting making sure I am the first up every single day, but I worry Wayne has fallen in love with the made-up me — and wouldn’t be as interested if I didn’t do it.’ Samantha’s morning routine sounds arduous, not to mention costly, yet she is not alone. A recent survey found that one-third of women get up before their partner to apply makeup in secret, while 3 percent would never let a man see them au naturel at all. Among them is celebrity make-up artist Charlotte Tilbury, 41, who recently admitted neither her former husband, actor Charles Forbes, nor the man she married last June, film producer George Waud, has ever seen her without makeup. ‘My mother always said: “Keep the mystery alive”,’ she says. ‘At night, I lock the bathroom door, and I take off all my makeup and then reapply my eyeliner and a little bit of mascara. They’re my bedroom eyes.’ But can a woman’s marriage ever be happy — or healthy — if she won’t let her husband see her in the way nature intended? Keeping the mystery: The 31-year-old has never let husband Wayne (pictured together) see her without makeup. ‘In most relationships, there usually comes a point when women become secure that they’re loved for who they are, as well as what they look like,’ says psychologist and relationship coach Jo Hemmings. ‘They let their guard down and gradually stop wearing mascara and lipstick until their partner sees them bare-faced. To be married, or in a long-term relationship, and still feel the need to be fully made-up at all times isn’t healthy. ‘It’s not that different from a woman not wanting to be seen naked by her husband. It suggests she doesn’t feel strong enough in her relationship to be herself — that there is a fear there would be a change for the worse in her marriage if she was seen without make-up. ‘It can be a form of facial dysmorphia. It’s similar to a woman constantly altering her face with cosmetic surgery — she has lost perspective on her appearance.’ Certainly, Samantha’s reliance on her cosmetic second skin seems to date back to her formative years when, aged 13, she developed freckles. ‘They made me feel ugly, so I began covering them with foundation — and the habit continued,’ says the retail assistant from Wakefield, West Yorkshire. ‘Make-up transforms me into a more confident person. Without it, I think I look horrendous — pale, washed-out and ill.’ 'Illusion': Sylvia Jarrett, 70, makes sure husband Geoff, also 70, never sees her make-up free. As a result, over the years Samantha has spent a small fortune on beauty products. Having found that cheap foundation clogs her pores, she spends £50 on a bottle, which only lasts her a fortnight. Before applying this, there’s a layer of primer and concealer to go on. A £15 pressed powder finishes off her ‘base’. Then she applies two shades of eyeshadow, liner above and below her eyes and a coat of mascara to her lashes — which, she confesses, are not even her own, as she has semi-permanent false eyelashes applied every two to three weeks at £20 a throw. Then there’s bronzer, blusher, lipstick, and gloss. It’s an expensive — not to mention exhausting — beauty regime. But even Wayne, 52, a social worker, can’t convince Samantha she doesn’t need it. ‘I’ve told her hundreds of times she is stunning. I can’t imagine she’d look worse without make-up, but she just won’t let me see,’ he says. ‘I actually think I’d prefer her without it. I used to wonder why she locked herself in the bathroom at 4 am. Now, I realize she does it for herself as much as me.’ Samantha, meanwhile, admits she has got so used to her made-up face that, without it, she feels ‘naked’. ‘Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I take it all off to give my skin a break. But I keep the door locked. If I hear Wayne’s car in the drive, I can do my “rushed” face in five minutes. The full version takes an hour.’ Even when the couple goes on their annual holiday to Spain, Samantha insists on wearing mascara and eyeliner and refuses to submerge herself below the waist in the pool for fear of getting her face wet. ‘I wear waterproof makeup, but even the prospect of being pictured with it running down my face is more appealing than being photographed with none on at all,’ she says. In this narcissistic age of the ‘selfie’, it can perhaps be argued that women feel under greater pressure than ever to always be ‘photo-ready’. However, psychologist Jo Hemmings says that, for some, it is also about maintaining a sense of mystique in a relationship once the first flush of love has worn off. Beauty regime: Susan Evans, 46, has three make-up 'faces' for each stage of the day. Whatever the reasons, there are practical issues. ‘Make-up wears off and, in bed, it will come off on the sheets, especially if you’re going to have sex,’ says Jo. ‘And with smeared make-up, you end up looking worse.’ Yet none of this can deter Sylvia Jarrett. Since marrying for the second time six years ago, Sylvia, 70, has gone to every effort to make sure husband Geoff, also 70, never sees her make-up free. ‘It’s about wanting to keep the romance in our marriage,’ she says. Sylvia, a psychotherapist, from Sevenoaks, Kent, met retired store manager Geoff seven years ago through an online dating site. For their first date, she chose a restaurant based on the amount of sunlight that came through the windows: less, she reasoned, would give a more flattering light. ‘I wanted to give Geoff the illusion of perfection,’ she says. They married the following year and, since then, Sylvia (who has four adult children and six grandchildren from her first marriage) makes sure she wakes up before Geoff every morning so she can apply make-up. ‘I also wait for him to go to sleep at night before I take it off,’ she says. ‘Usually, it doesn’t bother me. It’s only tiring if I want an early night and he doesn’t.’ Sylvia became enamored with make-up at the age of 12. ‘I had two elder sisters and we’d experiment with make-up,’ she says. ‘Cosmetics made me feel more confident — that feeling stayed with me. I like to make the best out of myself.’ It's not an effort to make myself look perfect for my fiance - it's a privilege She says she did let her guard down with her first husband of 20 years, who she divorced ten years ago, and allowed him to see her bare-faced. But she admits: ‘I sometimes wonder if I’d made more of an effort whether our marriage would have been happier.’ Four years ago, Sylvia developed a cancerous mole on her forehead. After it was removed, she couldn’t wear make-up in that area for weeks while the wound healed. ‘I was constantly pulling my fringe over my forehead so Geoff couldn’t see it,’ she says. ‘I know my behavior is silly, and in part down to insecurity, but that doesn’t help me stop.’ While Geoff doesn’t seem to object, whether he understands how much time his wife devotes to make-up is another matter. ‘Sylvia will always look beautiful to me,’ he says. ‘I’ve told her she doesn’t need to wear it all the time, but she doesn’t listen. ‘I don’t like to interfere — but I think she probably looks just as beautiful without it.’ As for divorcee Susan Evans, she would happily spend days bare-faced until her six-year marriage ended six years ago. ‘My self-esteem plummeted,’ says Susan, 46, who runs an online clothing store. ‘To pick myself up, I decided to wear make-up at all times. And I soon realized that men treated me with more respect when I made more of an effort.’ Her cosmetics habit soon escalated into an addiction as she developed three ‘faces’ for each stage of the day. ‘My “morning” face requires a foundation, mascara, concealer, and lipstick and takes 15 minutes,’ she says. ‘At midday, I add eyeshadow and contouring to pep myself up. In the evening, I go for the full works with false lashes and bold red gloss. ‘I only use expensive brands — it costs hundreds of pounds a year.’ Susan, from Birmingham, met her new partner, Carlton, 45, in the supermarket one afternoon last November. ‘He said I was the most beautiful woman in the world,’ says Susan. Rather than Carlton being put off by her layers of slap, it seems this was part of the initial attraction. ‘On our first date, Carlton said he loved the effort I put into my appearance,’ says Susan. ‘It’s not an effort to make myself look perfect for him, it’s a privilege. It’s a way of showing how much I care about him and making him believe I’m the most beautiful creature to grace the Earth. Carlton has never seen me without makeup — and he never will.’ Indeed, Carlton insists he ‘prefers a woman with make-up on’ and happily donates some of his security guard salaries to help fund Susan’s costly habit. ‘It makes her attractive and more appealing,’ he says. ‘It shows she’s made an effort and loves me. Sue looks gorgeous with make-up — I’d never ask her to take it off.’ The couple, who got engaged in February and will marry in November, split their time between each other’s homes. ‘When Carlton comes home from work, I open the door with my full dollybird face on,’ says Susan. ‘His appreciative look says it all. It’s almost as if he has been given the most expensive gift in the world. He wants me to be a perfect, gorgeous woman who makes an effort for him. I love him so much that I’m happy to oblige. Making myself up isn’t a chore, it’s a pampering experience.’ Susan keeps all her make-up on in bed, including false lashes. And she keeps three alarm clocks under her pillow so that she wakes up first. ‘My eyelids are used to the heavy feeling. I get a little make-up on the pillow, but it’s not a big deal,’ she says. ‘My expensive make-up ensures I don’t have a single blemish.’ She adds: ‘Friends say I’m shallow, but lots of women wear make-up all the time in front of their men. ‘They just won’t admit it — because they want their husbands to believe they look that good naturally.’ Credits: dailymail.co.uk

You searched for: self esteem

Women Admit Their Husbands Have Never Seen Them Without Makeup

Princess Diana: The Many Ways She Rebelled Against The Royal Family

O.J. Simpson Makes A Stunning Confession To Book Publisher

15 Messed Up Things You Never Knew Happened In The Victorian Era

Barbie History: The Real Story Behind The Barbie

10 Historic Country Music Landmarks You Should Visit

Frank Sinatra And Ava Gardner, And a Marriage Too Hot To Handle