Besotted: Joani and Paul Cook, from Newcastle, now spend more time laughing than arguing
Joani says:
I was 19 when I met Paul in a local pub and it was a case of opposites attract. I’m 5ft 1in and he’s 6ft 2in, so he towers over me.
But personality-wise, we are both outgoing and I loved his sense of humor. We fell in love, and within two months had moved into a two-bedroom flat, enjoying golf, going out to restaurants and the cinema.
Six years later, we had a big wedding in Cyprus with 300 guests. I’d never been happier: I knew he was the one.
We were both thrilled when Jordan was born in March 1996. But being new parents was so tough. Although Paul worked extra hours to make a living, we struggled financially.
Paul felt pushed out because I was busy looking after our baby, while I resented the fact I seemed on my own so much. If he went out with friends, we’d inevitably row. Looking back, I felt angry that I was doing the chores.
Being new parents was so tough. Although Paul worked extra hours to make a living, we struggled financially. And he felt pushed out as I was busy looking after our baby.
By the time Jordan was four, it seemed as if we were hardly talking. And when we did speak, we’d end up having another row. Any little thing could spark it off.
One day, when Jordan was five-and-a-half, Paul and I had a row about him coming home late for a second time that week. I decided I’d had enough and said I wanted to leave. Paul was upset and wanted us to try Relate, but I didn’t want to talk to a stranger about our problems.
My mind was made up. I had been unhappy for at least six months and I wanted out. I regret now that we didn’t have the maturity to work through our problems. I took Jordan and went to live with my mum, five minutes’ drive away. Within six months, Paul had filed for divorce.
I thought I’d be happier single but I wasn’t. I tried going out with friends, but my heart wasn’t in it. If I did meet someone, I’d always end up comparing them unfavorably with Paul, so I never even dated anyone else at the time we were apart.
When Paul came to pick up Jordan, he’d often stay for a cup of tea and we’d both find ourselves chatting. I’d forgotten how much we enjoyed one another’s company and I found myself falling in love with him again.
So when, in March 2004, Paul said he missed me and wanted to try again, I was delighted. We kissed and it brought back all those old feelings of longing I’d forgotten.
Back then: The Cooks said their vows in 1993. It didn’t work. But in March 2008, Joani proposed.
We began seeing one another but we didn’t tell anyone, not even Jordan, because we wanted to be sure of our relationship first. However, when I took Paul to my sister’s wedding in October 2004, everyone guessed.
Four weeks before Christmas, I moved into his three-bedroom house. Jordan was delighted.
In March 2008, I proposed! One night, I said: ‘Why don’t we get married again?’ — and we decided to marry on the same date as our first wedding. Living together just wouldn’t have felt right.
This time, we had a much smaller register office ceremony with seven guests and I wore a simple white dress — but it was just as special as our first wedding 16 years ago.
Our second marriage is different. We talk through any worries in our relationship rather than letting them fester, like before. Today, we really appreciate one another.
Paul says:
The second time around, our relationship is so much more precious.
Even after we divorced, deep down I still had feelings for her. When we met up to chat about our son, I still felt that spark was there between us.
Certainly, life now is much more peaceful. We’re more likely to laugh than to row over something small.
We’ve learned from the pitfalls of before and don’t let small disagreements get out of hand.
I was delighted when Joani proposed. Even after we divorced, deep down I still had feelings for her, and when we used to meet up to chat about Jordan, I still felt that spark was there between us.
It’s wonderful to be a whole family again.
Credits: dailymail.co.uk