AND THEN THERE’S: The Not-So-Good?
5. Fat Bottomed Girls (1978)
Apart from being an ode to normal bodies everywhere, this song has very little going for it. It reminds me of that one track everyone goes crazy for when it’s played at the local Chili’s.
“Fat Bottomed Girls”
Oh down beside that red fire light
Oh you gonna let it all hang out
Fat-bottomed girls you make the rocking world go roundHey I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad
But I knew love before I left my nursery
Left alone with big fat Fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Heap big woman, you made a bad boy out of meHey hey!I’ve been singing with my band
Across the water, across the land
I’ve seen every blue eyed floozy on the way (hey)
But their beauty and their style
Went kind of smooth after a while
Take me to them naughty ladies every time
C’mon!
Oh, won’t you take me home tonight?
Oh, down beside your red fire light
Oh, and you give it all you got
Fat-bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round
Fat-bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round
Hey, listen here
Now I got mortgages and homes
I got stiffness in the bones
Ain’t no beauty queens in this locality (I tell you)
Oh, but I still get my pleasure
Still get my greatest treasure
Heap big woman you done made a big man of me (now get this)
Oh (I know), you gonna take me home tonight (please)
Oh, down beside that red fire light
Oh, you gonna let it all hang out
Fat-bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round (yeah)
Fat-bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round
Get on your bikes and ride
Ooh, yeah, oh, yeah, them fat-bottomed girls
Fat-bottomed girls, yeah, yeah, yeah,
All right
Ride ’em cowboy
Fat-bottomed girls
Yes, yes, right.
4. You’re My Best Friend (1975)
I get it, we’re really good friends. Just stop repeating it! I detest this song because, despite its cool melodic sound, it seems to be the anxious rambling of a borderline psychotic.
“You’re My Best Friend”
Whatever this world can give to me
It’s you, you’re all I see
Ooh, you make me live now honey
Ooh, you make me liveYou’re the best friend
That I ever had
I’ve been with you such a long time
You’re my sunshine
And I want you to know
That my feelings are true
I really love you
You’re my best friendOoh, you make me liveI’ve been wandering round
But I still come back to you
In rain or shine
You’ve stood by me girl
I’m happy at home (happy at home)
You’re my best friend.
Ooh, you make me live
Whenever this world is cruel to me
I got you to help me forgive
Ooh, you make me live now honey
Ooh, you make me live
You’re the first one
When things turn out bad
You know I’ll never be lonely
You’re my only one
And I love the things
I really love the things that you do
You’re my best friend
Ooh, you make me live.
I’m happy, happy at home
You’re my best friend
You’re my best friend
Ooh, you make me live
You, you’re my best friend.
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