9. Same Smiles
The great news about these twins is that we can avoid them murdering us in our sleep as long as we don’t make fun of their headgear. And by ‘headgear,’ I mean absolutely lovely, charming dental accessories that are not at all cartoonishly embarrassing. They’re like jewelry for the mouth! A sort of functional pre-grills grills. What a ravishing addition to hexagonal glasses. Yes, as long we step on verbal eggshells around these two stunning, non-dorky girls we can avoid the end of a sharpened stick.
What a comforting thought.
In another world, what kind of amazing drama would play out between two twins where only one needs headgear? That’s the pre-pubescent Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? I want to know all about.
10. Identically Terrifying
Awww, there’s no bond like the ones sisters share. Sure, you might argue about where to bury the little boy you shovel-slammed to death, but when his vengeful ghost pops up in your terrifying portrait, howling about a lack of justice, you girls still stick together. It’s so nice to see two strong, empowered demon spawn working together to accomplish more than they could alone. Or at least dig a much deeper grave than just one little girl could. Wow, it would be such a relief to feel at least separated from these hell twins by the passing of time and assume they’re grown old and passed since this photo was taken. If I wasn’t already convinced they’re eternal beings, sucking the lifeblood of children to subsist forevermore, I’d say nicer things…
11. The Least Adorable
Oh look at that, it’s those two adorable blonde girls that turned their father into a piñata for suggesting a pony wasn’t the right pet for an apartment. Why it’s those sisters that wore their mother’s face as a mask when she wouldn’t let them watch Family Guy! Oh boy, and they’re dressed festively as they contemplate how the photographer’s body will look once their giant snake eats the head. Isn’t that nice? Say hi to the little girls before they lead you straight into a human-sized meat smoker while singing a song with no words! Isn’t that nice? They’re cutting the brakes on the neighbor’s cars! Won’t the neighbors be delighted when they find that out and it’s too late! I know what you’re thinking, but I swear I’m not at all terrified of these small children…
12. All The Patterns
Choo away! it’s not worth it. Look, the twin train is pulling into the station and whoever dressed these poor girls clearly f**ked up when they should have stuck with either polka dots or checkered squares — but not both. We’re all better off taking a nap on the train tracks because this is obviously the end. Then again, maybe we should be less terrified by these children and more worried about how easily accessible this picture is. If this picture of you got passed around on the Internet, and you had a loyal, identical hench-twin… the vengeance you would wreak is unimaginable. Let alone if you were raised by an adult that would facilitate this. These confused train conductors might just be the last sight I ever see for even posting this.
13. The Full Set
Sure, the ’80s was a weird time. I wasn’t there, but even I know that it was. Heck, ’80s themed days at school get weird enough around four in the afternoon. That doesn’t make matching side-part, permed couples any better. Throw in all of those different patterns, fabrics, and the male twins inability to smile without looking like a killer whale — and this whole deal is absolutely not okay. Why are the brothers wearing some kind of chaps and semi-corduroy button ups? Do they have matching bulls to tame after posing with these sisters who are vaguely dressed like nurses? Did the teeth on their necklaces come from the last sea creature they caught and bit into while it was still alive and thrashing in their identical hands?
14. Such Terrible Brothers
Wow, such strapping young men that probably went on to do truly terrible things together. Those are the faces of two mini monsters that would keep each other’s darkest secrets at any cost. There’s no right or wrong when you can have such an overly loyal accomplice — it just depends on what you can pull off without being caught. There’s no such thing as justice when these brothers have each other’s backs because they really would kill each other. Have you ever seen such lipless children before? Wouldn’t it be creepier if they grew up not to be evil but just to pharmacists? And when you imagine them as adult pharmacists, aren’t they secretly poisoning their patients? Or taking out their evilness in their personal lives but not just living as two contributing members of society?
15. This Poor Chair
This portrait was presumably taken to commemorate the day that these twins slaughtered their caregiver (or the evil nuns) that were in charge of them and the entire village. Maybe they had a portrait taken to celebrate unhinging their jaws and swallowing another child whole. That chair is exactly the size to fit one normal sized person…and not two pint-sized demons. By the way, when you’ve got a scary child, a random bow in the center of your dress doesn’t help anyone. A bow won’t backtrack the dead look in their eyes and make everything adorable or even close to okay. A tiny black bow does nothing to negate the evilness going on here, it just amplifies it. That kid is still terrifying and the bow is now creepy.
Credits: thethings.com
Share this story on Facebook with your friends.