The Mesmerizing Method In Which Mallomars Are Made

5. Possibly because the population doesn’t have time for campfires, a whopping 70% of Mallomars are sold in the New York metropolitan area.

6. Mallomar hoarders have had a long-standing beef with their Summer absence, but none more so than Conan O’Brien’s graphic designer Pierre Bernard, who devoted a whole “Recliner of Rage” segment to it.

7. Pro tip for Pierre: Mallomars supposedly have a shelf life of six months, so get your bunker stash in March to ensure minimal graham cracker staleness.

8. That beautiful golden box wasn’t always part of the Mallomars packaging. There’ve been a number of redesigns over the years, but the very first Mallomars box looked way more like a fancy toothpaste tube that’d be eleven dollars at Whole Foods.