11 Horrible Money Mistakes From ‘The Honeymooners’

7. What was the question?

Ralph finally has a chance to solve all of his financial problems forever–if he manages to win on a big-money quiz show, “The $99,000 Answer.” All he has to do is memorize everything about every musical composition ever written.

With Norton relentlessly coaching him on the piano, Ralph feels confident of his popular music prowess. Once on the quiz show, Ralph gets stuck on the one song Norton played over and over again to “warm up” during their marathon practice sessions: Swanee River. His scheme ends on a sour note.

8. Fowl inheritance

Ralph, having accidentally given one of his customers $20 instead of a buck in change on the bus, asks Norton to lend him the money to cover his mistake. Norton, naturally, isn’t interested in fronting Ralph the cash. Thinking quickly, Ralph convinces Norton that he’s not just loaning money, he’s investing in “Ralph Kramden, Inc.”

Terms include Norton earning 35 percent of all the money Ralph makes, “over and above his salary.” Things get dicey between the friends when Ralph learns he is set to inherit part of an estate worth $40 million–and Norton wants his cut. No one wins when the “fortune” left Ralph in the will is revealed to be a pet parrot.

9. A meal fit for a… puppy?

Alice goes to the pound and adopts a cute pup. As Alice prepares the dog’s dinner, she notes that the food is made from “choice horse meat.” Not knowing about the newest member of the family, Norton spreads the dog food on some crackers and tells Ralph, “Alice really outdid herself with this stuff. It’s just delicious!”

Ralph samples the spread and decides that they have a “million-dollar idea” on their hands. When they turn to Ralph’s boss, Mr. Marshall, for capital to fund production of “Krammar’s Delicious Mystery Appetizer,” Mr. Marshall and his colleagues quickly figure out that the slop is not fit for human consumption, and Ralph’s “million-dollar idea” is dead.

10. It’s the principal of the thing

The landlord is raising the Kramdens’ and the Nortons’ rent by $5. Alice, Norton and Trixie all grudgingly accept the rent increase, but Ralph wants to fight. “It’s war,” declares Ralph. “And I’m the general!” Ralph barricades himself–along with Alice–in his apartment to teach the landlord “a lesson” with a rent strike.

Of course, the landlord wins when he turns off the heat, water and electricity and the Kramdens are reduced to shivering and eating celery.

11. Pool Shark

Ralph Never can catch a break. When Mr. Marshall, Ralph’s boss, received a pool table from his wife for an anniversary present, he asks Ralph–“the best pool player at the bus company”–for help in learning the game. Norton, who happened to be in the right place at the right time, is also invited to Mr. Marshall’s swank Park Avenue apartment to shoot a couple of games of pool.

Norton manages to impress Mr. Marshall with his ability to “think on his feet” and is offered a job as supervisor at the Gotham Bus Company, a job that Ralph has long coveted.

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