Back in the day, when it was time for my mom to pick me up after figure-skating practice, I’d call her from the payphone. One time, she went out grocery shopping and forgot she was supposed to pick me up. My dad was still at work. I put a quarter in the payphone and called and called and called until I decided to walk home. I ripped a hole in my skate bag and my skates kept falling out onto the sidewalk. It took me two hours to get home. When my mom realized she’d forgotten me, she kept driving to and from the rink and couldn’t find me (even though I WAS RIGHT THERE ON THE SIDEWALK WHERE ELSE WOULD I BE HOW COULD YOU NOT SEE ME, MOM) and was panicked that I had been kidnapped.
Here’s how that story goes today:
Me (via text): Where are you??
Mom stops pushing her shopping cart. “Oh s**t,” she thinks. She abandons her cart mid-aisle.
Mom (via text): On my way. Traffic. Srry 🙁
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